Self-care is a Part of Self-love

Posted on by The Heart Advocate in Self-love Support

I am always busy. I am a mother of a 2-year-old, so toddler-mom life always keeps me on my toes. Between work, Self-love Coaching, taking care of my home, managing my Facebook group, The H.O.E. Truth, and the Self-love Shop, it’s so difficult to find the time to focus on me.

Self-love is a opportunity. 

I have learned that by taking small steps in my self-love journey I am able to focus on all of the pieces of self-love as if to practice adding them into my daily routine. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day, it has become important to me to take care of the one human who is taking care of everyone and everything else in my life, ME. 

Our quality of care for others decreases when our self-care is not a priority.

What is Self-love? 

According to Christine Arylo, Best Selling Author of Madly in love with Me, and the Founder of the Path to Self-love,”There are 10 branches of self-love – AND you need ALL 10 + the roots to be strong” (What is Self-love). Christine helps others to focus on the 10 branches of self-love which are all rooted in embracing your self-worth: 

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-acceptance
  3. Self-trust
  4. Self-esteem
  5. Self-compassion & forgiveness
  6. Self-empowerment
  7. Self-care
  8. Self-expression
  9. Self-honor & respect
  10. Self-pleasure 
  11. (Roots) Self-worth 

Self-care is Essential in Self-love

As women and mothers, we spend so much time taking care of everyone but ourselves. 

“Give yourself what you need, without guilt… (self-care)” -Christine Arylo 

I believe that self-care is one of most important branches in self-love because we can truly care for the people we love by taking care of our mind, body, and soul. By actively focusing on self-care, we are showing our children the importance of taking care of themselves and we are learning our own self-worth.

Self-care for Beginners 

If you are beginning a self-care journey there are 5 things that you must focus on:

  1. Start Small
  2. Get out of you Comfort Zone 
  3. Meet yourself where YOU are 
  4. Find a Tribe 
  5. Know that YOU ARE NOT SELFISH  

For a complete explanation, print your copy of my Self-care for Beginners Guide.

Often times when we begin a self-care journey we compare ourselves to others who we consider masters of a specific aspect of self-care. There is a lot of information out there about how to better take care of your mind, body, and spirit, and the lists of options can be so extensive that it can seem overwhelming. Always remember: start small, be patient with yourself, and do not ever feel guilty for focusing on self-care. 

It is never selfish to add yourself into your list of priorities.

If you are looking for ways to get started, be spontaneous. You can make a plan, but sometimes planning ahead is not always possible. Get out of your comfort zone and try to do one thing FOR YOU every day. 

Here are some great tips to help you begin making self-care a priority:

  • Mental Self-care: 
    • Read a book
    • Continued education
    • Turn off your phone for an hour
    • Color (coloring with your kids is the best) 
    • Listen to podcasts on self-love, self-care, and self-esteem 
  • Emotional/Psychological Self-care:
    • Start a Gratitude Journal 
    • Call your best friend
    • Write down positive affirmations on post-it notes and stick them all over your house (check out my post Hello Self-love for a list of Affirmations that can help you get started)
    • Practice deep breathing exercises (Check out my blog post The 4-7-8 (Relaxing) Breathing Exercise)
  • Physical Self-care:
    • Have a dance party for yourself (allow the kids to join in as well)
    • Take a Detox Tea Bath (check out the benefits of my Detox Tea Bath Salts)
    • Stretch your body 
    • Take a nap
  • Spiritual Self-care
    • Mediate
    • Pray
    • Spend time in nature
    • Devotions

Your self-care does not have to fit into a certain mold or meet certain standards. Meet yourself where you are and show up for yourself a little more each day.

YOU ARE WORTH IT. 

Published by The Heart Advocate

Ta'lor L. Pinkston created The Heart Advocate to help women + femme choose self-love as a coping skill for mental health and healing. The Heart Advocate helps women and girls (including non-binary and transgender women and girls) by facilitating workshops, providing virtual one-on-one self-love therapy and programs and managing Healing Over Everything (H.O.E.), a support group and virtual safe-space. The Heart Advocate takes self-love with her every where she goes by speaking across Pittsburgh, PA and on social media about defying fear, doubt, insecurity, shame and blame/guilt. Through Listen, Lucy Presents, a mental health initiative geared at eliminating the stigma around therapy and mental health + illness, The Heart Advocate is excited to be one of their speakers who will be connecting with Pittsburgh Public Schools and University Sororities on normalizing self-worth in mental health.

34 thoughts on “Self-care is a Part of Self-love”

  3. Pingback: The Journey Toward Self-forgiveness in 5 Steps – LADYHOOD journey

  4. Women are socialised to nurture and men and children, to be nurtured. It can create an unhealthy situation where mothers and wives continue to give and prioritize themselves, but don’t get what they need in return. It is important to sometimes put ourselves first, without guilt, and without punishment. Kudos to you!

    Reply

    1. Thank you for reading!!!!!! So horned. It most certainly is something that we must all begin to prioritize. Self-love is the cure.

      Reply
  5. Pingback: Self-love begins with Self-care – lauravent69

  10. So so SO much love for this post! Thank you for bringing this to people’s attention – I can relate to this so much, as someone who’s often struggled to realise their self worth and love themselves for their flaws. Will remember this next time I plan some self-care time! xx

    Reply
  11. Pingback: 5 Ways to Defy Self-Doubt – LADYHOOD journey

  12. I loved reading this! I can definitely relate, I’m also a mother of a 2 year old and self-care is something I struggle with. I think I’ll keep your post in mind and give the dance party a go! All the best. Kirsty-Lou. X

    Reply

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