I wasn’t aware that I was neglecting myself in my relationship. No one told me. I thought it was normal to put all of the needs of my partner before my own. What I have learned is that this is not normal, it is common.
In my past relationships, I did not make myself a priority. I only focused on their needs, how I could make our relationship better, and what I needed to do to make them happy. It is not that these things are not important when dating, it’s that my needs, their efforts, and my happiness are also important. I was lacking self-love in my relationship and I did not even realize it.
I have been asking myself why do we stop taking care of ourselves, listening to ourselves, expressing our needs, and honoring ourselves when we are in a relationship? I wrote more about this in my blog Five Reasons Women Lose Themselves In Relationships. Here are Six Ways To Maintain Your Self-love In Your Relationship:
1. talk to Yourself
2. establish boundaries
Going into any new romantic relationship without boundaries can leave you susceptible for disrespect and violation. Here are some questions to consider before entering a new relationship:
- What do I need in my relationship to feel loved?
- How would I feel supported in my relationship?
- What does a healthy trust and loyalty look like?
- What would make me feel respected in my relationship?
- What are my Red, Orange, and Yellow Flags?
3. Continue spending time with family & friends
4. Take yourself out on dates
- a picnic in the park or in your house
- go to a movie
- take yourself on a lunch date
- go for a day walk or hike
- close your bedroom door and spend some time getting to know your body 😉
- fill up the bathtub with bubbles, light candles, and just soak
5. Stay connected with your passions
6. Make self-care your priority
There are Six Ways To Take Care Of Yourself. The best part about self-care is that there is no speed limit. The goal is not to be perfect, it is to be mindful. By focusing on your individual Self-care Plan and creating an intentional list of needs for your mind, body, and soul, you can strengthen your relationship with your partner. You were an individual before you were a couple. Self-care is not selfish, it is choosing to make yourself as much of a priority as you do your relationship.