Beauty Is

Posted on by The Heart Advocate in Body + Beauty Support

She just wants to be beautiful… She craves attention, she praises an image. She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor…she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away, cause Covergirls don’t cry after their face is made… She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it, or that beauty goes deeper than the surface… You should know your beautiful just the way you are. And you don’t have to change a thing the world could change its heart, no scars to your beautiful…

Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara – Album: Know It All 

Why is it that when you do an image search for “Beauty” on Google, there are only pictures of white or fair-skinned girls, all in full-face contour? Is this the only standard-of-beauty?

Images: Google

What is your definition of beauty?

Is it the length of your hair?
Is beauty having no blemishes, bumps or scars?
Is it having hazel, almond-shaped eyes?
Are dark eyes beautiful?
Is being beautiful having dark skin?
Are only the fair beautiful?
Is it the name on the label inside your shirt?
Can beauty be in a thrift or Goodwill?
Is beauty foundation, concealer, blush and contour?
Is it beautiful when a girl wears no make-up?
Is it having a gap in your front teeth?
Are Porcelain Veneers beauty?
Is it a tips and acrylic?
Are natural nails beautiful?
Is beauty having straight or curly hair?
Is beauty a face without wrinkles?
Can you age and be considered beautiful?
Is it self-tanner?
Is beauty petite or plus size?
Is it having small feet?
Is being beautiful tall or short?
Is it an hourglass figure?
Can you be beautiful without ass implants?
Is it beautiful to have stretch marks after a nine-month pregnancy?
Is beauty how big your cup size is?

The Standard of Beauty

I have heard people call Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian, and Halle Berry ugly. Those who fit in the standard can still be considered unattractive, right? Yes, because beauty is subjective. So what’s the standard, right?

Fair or Light skinned.
Thin but curvaceous.
Light eyes.
Long hair.
Big boobs.
Plump or big butt.

The standard is impossible to live up to without surgery, and yet, you still judge yourself and others based on their appearance— something uncontrollable. I witness body shaming and cyber bullying through Memes everyday. I see people kill their worth for beauty. Surgery after surgery, Botox, boob and butt implants, bleaching skin, eating disorders, tanning…. none of this is healthy!

So many of the rich and famous portray images of themselves filtered, airbrushed, wearing a full face of makeup every time we see them which can cause you to feel less than. The standard of beauty is too high; it’s a privilege that you may not be able to afford and even a full face of makeup doesn’t feel like enough.

I know from experience that wearing makeup daily will overtime cause you to dislike the way you look without it. I wore makeup daily when I was in high school and my freshman and sophomore year of college and it was so hard for me to go without wearing at least mascara because I felt insecure.

It’s okay to wear makeup, I do outside of #nomakeupmondays but if it’s a ritual, an addiction, you can’t leave your house without it, you can choose to re-evaluate your self-acceptance, a very essential part of self-love.

Beauty Is You

You were not created to fit in, you were created to stand out. You were created unique and beautiful as you are. Understanding how you see yourself is more important than fitting into an idea of who you should be. Trying to fit into the standard of beauty goes against humanity; being unique is what makes us human and what makes us all beautiful.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, no matter the color of your skin, your skin type, the length or texture of your hair, the color of your eyes, or how short or tall you are, the scars, bumps, blemishes, dark spots, wrinkles and laugh lines do not define you, they are a part of you.

You deserve to accept all you are.

Images: Google

© 2016 Ta’lor L. Pinkston, The Heart Advocate

Published by The Heart Advocate

Ta'lor L. Pinkston created The Heart Advocate to help individuals choose self-love as a coping skill for mental health and healing. The Heart Advocate facilitates workshops, provides virtual one-on-one Self-love Therapy sessions and programs, and manages Healing Over Everything (H.O.E.), a support group and virtual safe-space for anyone 18+. The Heart Advocate takes self-love with her every where she goes by speaking across Pittsburgh, PA and on social media about defying beauty standards, self-hate, fear, self-doubt, and shame. The Heart Advocate seeks to eliminate the stigma around therapy and mental health, specifically for BIPOC individuals through advocacy and normalizing mental health on social media.

139 thoughts on “Beauty Is”

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    1. Those are beautiful features. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. I dream is for every girl to be able to list internal attributes that make them beautiful as well.

      Reply

      2. *blushing!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! Please do because that is all I want, for the message to be spread! Thank you sooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the best thing I have heard all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      4. You speak truth, once again. i love it which is why I reblogged your post as well. Thank you sooooo much. Loving the conversation as well!

      5. I just reblogged a post of yours…It has been on my heart, since I read it last night. So beautiful and soooo true “Addiction” love that poem!

  4. This is a very good message that often times get ignored due to the images you may see online or even on television. Beauty is what we make out to be, and starts inside of us. If we cannot appreciate the beauty we have individually, we cannot expect the outside world to recognize and appreciate our own definition of beauty.

    Reply

    1. Exactly. Thank you for reading. The media and pop culture plays so much of a role in this… that is why i appreciate someone like Alicia Keys. She knew the message that was sent when someone prominent wears makeup every time you see them. We were born beautiful!

      Reply

  6. Beauty is inside. Sometimes beauty is covered with tone of make up we see on Instagram profiles, because this beautiful girls don’t accept their true beauty… wake up, do not be dependent of what media show – it is unreal and goes to nowhere.
    Interesting post 🙂

    Reply

    1. I agree with you. I use to wear make up everyday in high school and when i wouldn’t have it on, i stopped appriecating how I looked without it. Now, i wear make up sometimes because I like colors, enhancing features….but I still see my natural beauty as just that, beautiful!

      Reply

  8. Love this post! Agreed with everything you said. Beauty is diversity not just some specific standards. Your poetry was over the top.

    Reply

  9. I love this post. I think most people think I’m just being politically correct because I’m a skinny white chick, but I really think all bodies types are beautiful. All hair types. All eye colours. Skin colours. Heights. Disabilities and scars. Makeup is fun, but nobody should feel obligated to wear it. The only thing that makes a person ugly is when they are mean and nasty to others. Beauty comes from how you treat other people, animals, and your environment, I feel.

    Reply

    1. You speak truth and that was the point of this post. Thank you for reading because this is the essence of my beliefs and I want to challenge us to see the beauty within. 😉

      Reply

    1. No, thank you for reading. I really do appreciate your feedback because we have to stick together. This world can be so hard on us…all women. I will definitely check out your post because I love stories. Thank you for the positive words and keep sharing your story! I will do the same.

      Reply
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  13. This is so amazing! I love the message you are showing! Very positive and inspiring ! I’m just starting out on blogging and trying to get some great ideas! I would love it if you would stop on my blog and check it out!! 🤗💕

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for reading. I am a pretty new blogger myself, so I always appreciate feedback. I would love to check out your page…on my way there now. Keep in touch! 😉

      Reply

  16. I love this message. Although I’m biased in finding Black women and Black love to be the standard, there are many forms of beauty, physically. Spiritually. I believe that when a woman is right within, she defines beauty. There are pretty faces e v e r y w h e r e – men + women – with no substance. Lovely eyes and smile may catch your eye but a funky attitude or lack of compassion and narcissism are repulsive. Character trumps a pretty face or a nice body every time.

    Reply

    1. SOOOOO true…I would rather be with someone with a good heart, intellectual, compassionate and spiritual, then with a “pretty face.” Substance is so much more important, and as we get older, it becomes the standard. Thank you for reading!

      Reply

    1. I am so glad you love it. Every poem I write, just comes to me. No prep, nothing but my heart and mind. I had no idea of how many people would relate and feel just like I do when it comes to beauty standards. Everyone I speak to about this post has touched my heart. I am just glad we have some strong women with voices who believe in inner beauty and self love. so, thank you.
      Isn’t Alessia Cara amazing though??? I would love to have drinks with her and just pick her brain. Her messages in her music are so thoughtful and inspirational.

      Reply

    1. It is actually a very sad reality for individuals of color, minorities…we are the cultures/cohorts that are overlooked outside of White Beauty…white privilege…. (don’t get me started) When you type the word beauty on Google.com, you should see so much more than fair skinned, skinny, females; wearing a ton of make-up on their faces!
      I am glad that my post touched you!

      Reply

      2. That is the goal….we have to stick together, advocate for one another and constantly talk about our concerns. #dontkeepquiet

  21. Hi!
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    Reply

    1. WOW!!! I am not sure if this is something being offered to multiple bloggers, but I am truly honored. I definitely want to look into this app process and I am certainly interested.
      Thank you so much for seeing the value in my blog and the messages I want to share with the world! I will be checking out your site immediately.
      If you can provide me with more information on how to contact you about making this opportunity happen?
      Thank you again for reaching out!

      Side note? Who is your wife? Just wondering because I follow many blogs and would love to reach out!

      Reply

      1. This message is for you 🙂 We saw your page and believed in the message that you give here. Also I like that you mention that you are a mother and that you want “t her to learn to be the best version of herself that she can.” This is exactly in line with our values. We will be having our first child this september and I am excited for the knowledge and love I will be able to give. Until the summer I decided to offer my service making blogging apps for free, not only to gain an audience, but so people will see the honest hard work we put into our work. I also came up with a design that has all of your social media and blog wrapped into one mobile app so that your audience can be connected with you from all angles. Here is a great example.
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        The process for you is simple and easy. I would need an image for the app icon and any social media sites you may want included in the app.

      2. I really appreiciate this opportunity and love that you and your team see the value in my blogs focus. I am definitely interested, and I added my information to your contact sheet on your site. The apps are wonderful. I would love to get started. I am trying to find an artist to create an original design of my mark LADYHOOD! I will be contacting you via your site. I just sent you a contact message. I look forward speaking with you further!

  22. This is so so sooo good! Thank you for sharing this post as I really hope it opens up everyone’s eyes and makes them realise that no matter what they look like, they are BEAUTIFUL inside & out

    Reply

    1. Thank you so very much for reading. The standard of beauty causes so much pressure on women and men to look a certain way, when in reality, the standard is not realistic. I am so glad you found the value in my post!

      Reply
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  30. It requires an added courage to enjoy the scars on your body, to fight against the media definitions of beauty….. I really loved your post

    Reply

    1. Thank you Akhila! I think beauty is more than facial features….even the person that society would not consider beautiful …they are beautiful too! We all are. As women it is important to advocate for each other and challenge what people say we should look like….
      Thank you for reading!

      Reply

  31. Hello there!

    Popping in as requested. Ok, this is what I think. While physical appearance is a factor, have you noticed there’re women who may not be conventionally nor exceptionally beautiful yet they capture the eyes of everyone around them?

    These women don’t obsess about beauty; they don’t obsess about rebelling against beauty standards. They do beauty not to conform to societal expectations but because they want to do it for themselves and they feel great!

    Because of their strong sense of self, these ladies ooze charisma. They’re very comfortable with who they are. They may not be dropdead gorgeous but they’ll sure as hell capture everyone’s attention wherever they go.

    So here is what I think. Groom because it makes you feel good. Your innate confidence will radiate outwards and draw people to you. Have a strong sense of who you are. Your presence will be noticed.

    Reply

    1. My post is about just that…beauty is subjective and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder… I think it takes a confident and someone with self-esteem to be able to feel confident with or without make-up. I think confidence and your reasoning for wearing make-up daily is an individuals choice…especially if it makes you feel better about yourself. This post was written to challenge popular norms by saying how society puts so much pressure on women to look a certain way and we conform to that reality because of that pressure. Grooming does make you feel better about yourself but I think everyone would say that they do it because it makes them feel better about themselves, when in reality, most of us would all love to walk around in comfortable clothing….

      Reply

      1. Could it be that some adopt beauty standards as a mere guide as opposed to becoming a slave to these standards?

        I follow them but modify them to suit my lifestyle instead of changing my lifestyle to conform to those standards.

        Comfy clothes are great but I also enjoy wearing bodycon and bandage dresses and heels 😛 I don’t bother with hair curling, mascara or hairspray though, as they doesn’t make me feel good.

        Perhaps it’s how we use and view these beauty standards. I know I step out of the house feeling amazing : )

      3. I think the standard of beauty is deeply rooted in our American culture….sadly it puts a lot of pressure on us to look a certain way in order to feel good about ourselves… I love how you are making me think!

      4. Well, I would like to share how beauty standards work for me. I hope it helps you and anyone who reads this to feel great while modifying these standards to suit your respective lifestyles.

        I’ve always envied the gorgeous curves black and white women have. Voluptuous butts, ample chests, you get the picture. But I’m Asian and not built that way.

        So I apply these beauty standards to highlight my assets and downplay my flaws. Yeah ok, I don’t have bouncy boobs, so what? I’ll draw attention to my waist and toned legs and shoulders instead!

        Sure, sometimes I see a remarkably feminine and immaculately made up woman and feel a twinge of envy and admiration. But with lighter makeup, my skin breathes better, facial pores are less clogged and the natural radiance from being as healthy as time allows is more obvious. I free up time to move more and be active.

        Think back to when our grandmas and mums applied beauty standards. Sometimes they moan that they need to lose weight or apply more moisturiser, whatever. But they’re still happy and they still leave the house feeling good.

        Think back to the past era when women in the 1960s and 1970s gave themselves the onceover in the mirror before heading out with a bounce in their step. This is how beauty standards help to make us feel amazing : )

        You’re blessed with pretty features. Work ’em! : )

      5. Beauty is subjective and we as people always want what we can’t have. I was always a thick girl. I never wanted to be skinny but I wanted my curves to be in the right places, but I always had a pooch belly, so waist trimmers, it is. Anything can be an addiction, and I think that so many women are addicted to make-up and looking a certain way. I think it is important to have a healthy balance. I love that Alicia Keys is doing this no-make up movement because it shows how the standards of beauty are tainted by what popular culture tells us beauty is… If no one wore make-up, then we would love our facial features and not feel that we have to enhance them, every day… and then, you can’t stop wearing it because you get use to seeing yourself with makeup on…without it, you start to feel ugly, and that is the problem I have with beauty standards.
        Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Such a great post! I wish more women were ok with their own beauty and encouraged others to be confident and loving towards themselves and others in return. I work with a woman who is constantly putting herself down, speaking negatively about her appearance physically how much she weights. We are all encouraging and supportive of her and we try our best to help her feel confident. She allows this negative body image to rule her life holding her back in many ways. I wish many times to myself that she had someone to help her see her true beauty before it became so deeply ingrained in her. Thank you for this post! I hope one day she reads something like this and sees that it applies to her also. To everyone!

    Reply

    1. We are our own harshest critic…. The media does not make it easy on us. I too wish every woman and girl saw just how beautiful, talent, intelligent they are, and how proud they should be to be females because only then would we rule the world.
      Thank you for such thoughtful and kind words.

      Reply

  33. This is such an important message!! You put it so incredibly beautifully! Beauty does come in every shape, color, etc. I hope someday our society succeeds at erasing today’s ridiculous “beauty standards” that only benefits esthetic surgeons. Love love love this post! x

    Reply

    1. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much Giulia!!!! I really appreciate your insight. What you are saying is so true and yes, so needed as well.

      Reply

  34. All women are beautiful. But you’re right too much of advertising contains only white. The heart and soul of a person is most important. My wife is African American, so I do think brown is the most beautiful color, just my opinion though.

    Reply

    1. That is a great opinion 😉 … no bias here (of course there is) I just think we need to realize what kind of message we send to those beautiful girls & teenagers of color who struggle with their identity when we do google searches for beauty and you only see white women… its heartbreaking

      Reply

    1. I agree….and it puts so much pressure on us all, to look a certain way, and it is not fair. We shouldn’t have to buy expensive make-up to feel good about ourselves. Thank you for reading….I love discussing this topic

      Reply

  36. Aaaawww!! This is so great, it makes me so happy to find people like you who promotes this uplifting messages!!! Everyone is beautiful and unique!!! Thanks for sharing the truth with the world, your beauty outshines through your words!!!! 💛

    Reply

    1. It is amazing that you said this….I was planning to add those lyrics to my post “Beauty Is…” I love that this song is on the radio and is popular. It is so important for young girls and young women to hear. Great minds think alike.

      Reply

  38. Your thoughts and your poetry both is beautiful . I love this. Firstly I’d like to thank you for bringing me to your blog . In today’s world , day by day self love is vanishing due to the constricted conventional ideas of beauty that are pushed into the minds. I’m glad you wrote about this . I am slowly discovering your blog. Would like to hear your views on my other poems as well . Cheers !! :))

    Reply

    1. Thank you sooo much shreyakhetan …. you have no idea how appreciative I am to hear your opinion on this post. You speak truth. We are taught that beauty is skin deep, and that if we do not fit into a certain profile, we are not beautiful and it breaks my heart. I can’t wait to check out more of your poetry… 🙂

      Reply

  39. This is a great message. I think it’s really unhealthy how narrow society’s perceptions of beauty are, and I think you have a great post here reminding everyone that beauty can take many different forms. Rock on! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Thank you Natalie…that was just my goal. All women are beautiful because of our differences….if we all looked the same…the word beautiful would not exist…I wish every girl knew just how beautiful she is!
      Thank you for reading!

      Reply

  40. Really great message. The concept of whiteness = beauty has manifested itself in really nasty ways throughout history. I hear that in a lot of Asian countries, they actually sell whitening cream.

    Reply

    1. wow!!! That is horrifying because beauty comes in sooooo many shades and I believe it begins with your own self-worth and esteem…you have to love yourself before anyone else can…easier said than done, I know. But its a start….thank you for reading!

      Reply

      1. WOW! that really breaks my heart because that is popular culture and the media sinking into our throught processes, making us believe that “beauty” looks a certain way! I hope that one day we can embrace the beauty within us and see beauty in our flaws, differences, uniqueness…. Thank you for your comment…

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